Making Writing a Family Affair

DIALOGUE, THE MAKING OF A STORY, by Christine Collier

When I first started writing I had no problem coming up with ideas even in the beginning. What brought terror to me was dialogue and how to end sentences. Every time I came to the end of a sentence I couldn’t help saying, “he said” or “she said.” Of course I would throw in a few “he replied,” “she smiled”, “she answered” or “he frowned,” but still it did not flow right in my mind .New writers tend to worry about the repetition of “said” going to extreme lengths to avoid it. However, when you really do need a tag, don’t be afraid of the word “said.”

How do you write so people know who is speaking, so you don’t need so many tag lines? When dialogue is flowing right, you don’t even think how to end the sentence, just as you don’t when you are speaking in life. Write as you speak. Your story should sound as close to a real conversation as possible. Have the dialogue be natural and true to the character’s lifestyle. It’s the main thing that moves your story; in fact it’s what sells a good story. If you know your character and plot and the scene is started with a good conversation, the dialogue can actually help you write the story.

Dialogue introduces the characters, brings in the conflict and advances the plot.
Correct punctuation helps readers understand who is speaking.  In many cases with good dialogue and proper punctuation you don’t need tag lines. You should be able to tell who’s saying what without any he said or she said! Use tag lines only when there may be confusion as to who is speaking. Don’t let an untagged exchange of dialogue go on for too long. Use gestures and physical description in ending or starting a sentence.

Write a simple scene, for example. “The children ran into the kitchen for breakfast. Their mother was drinking a cup of coffee at the table.”
Okay, how could dialogue improve this scene?
“Beth,” her brother yelled, “Don’t eat all the scrambled eggs. We’re having that spelling bee today and I don’t want my stomach growling during it.”
“Billy” Mom called to her son as she sipped her coffee, “There are plenty of eggs for you and your sister.”

Practice your own little scenes. You will be surprised how much better you will get.
Have your characters talk realistically, don’t have them be sappy sweet or one- dimensional. Get right into the action. Don’t explain what dialogue can say for you. Show don’t tell the scene. From this short scene we learn that Billy hasn’t taken the time to see that there are more eggs, is he nervous over the spelling bee?

Readers describe fast moving dialogue as the number one reason they enjoy reading a story along with an exciting plot. Writers should work on improving their dialogue all the time and you will see improvement! 

Christine is married and the mother of three grown children and grandmother of one. She’s about to graduate from the advanced writing course at the Institute of Children's Literature. Her publications include "Holidays & Seasonal Celebrations," "WeeOnes," "WeeParents," "Once Upon a Time," the Institute of Children's Literature and has just sold to "Hopscotch", "WriteFromHome," "Busy Freelancer" and recently sold to the "Writer's Journal." Christine also writes a column for the newsletter for children's writers, "From Dolly's Desk" and is a member of SCBWI.   

TIPS FOR YOUNG WRITERS, by Jessica Wright

I started out as a young writer, and frankly, I was awful. It took me years write something readable, never mind publishable. Below are some of the tips I wish somebody had given to me when I first started out.

1) Begin in the middle.

This might sound odd, but you should always start in the middle of your story, never the ‘beginning’. For example, below there are two first lines. Which story would you pick to read?

- There was once a little boy called Jack.

- Jack lunged at the dragon smoke billowing into his face.

Hopefully you chose the second sentence, which starts in the middle of the story. It doesn’t take up words introducing the main character or describing the dragon’s cave, it just plunges straight into the action. The first sentence, "There was once a little boy called Jack" introduces the main character. How many of you chose that as the story you would have finished reading? And how much of that information did you need to know? The second sentence identifies the main character as Jack and starts the story, all in one sentence.

Don’t waste your reader’s time by starting when Jack is on his way to school. Start when Jack meets the dragon. Your reader doesn’t want introductions they want conflict. Which leads to my next point . . .

2) Conflict.

Okay, so you may think that this is obvious, but your story must have conflict. It doesn’t matter if your story is about Jack and the dragon or Alice’s birthday party - nobody will want to read a story where nothing goes wrong.

Don’t let Jack beat the dragon immediately. Get the dragon to kidnap him. Or, better still, get the dragon to kidnap his best friend, Thomas, and then you can send him off on a quest to save poor Tom.

Don’t make Alice’s birthday party perfect. Maybe she didn’t get the presents she wanted, and then her baby brother threw up all over her new party dress, or nobody turned up.

Remember: Nobody will read your story if you’re kind to your characters.

Be ruthless.

3) Show me.

I know, I know, you’ve heard it all before, but it’s true. Show, don’t tell. Look at these two sentences:

- Fiona was sad.

- Fiona’s head dropped down onto the pillow and she lay there, staring at the wall, tears trickling down her cheeks.

Which one shows you a picture? Your readers want to see Fiona crying, want to share her sadness. They can’t do that if you tell them instead of showing them.

Give your readers a picture.

4) Don’t be passive!

A very common mistake in beginner’s writing is to write in the passive voice. This is when the action is done to the character, rather than the character doing the action. For example:

- Jack was attacked by the dragon. (Passive)

-The dragon attacked Jack. (Active)

Passive writing bores your readers. Don’t do it.

5) Breath life into your characters.

There is nothing worse than flat characters. If your characters are not real to you, how can they ever be real for your readers? If your readers can’t see your characters as real people, then they will not identify with them, so they will not care what happens to them. Why should they?

If you want people to care about -and pay for- what you write, then you MUST bring your characters to life. There are no exceptions. You must know what Jack dreams about, what Alice bought for her mum at Christmas, what brand of toothpaste Jack uses and, most importantly of all, why.

You probably won’t tell your readers where Jack buys his socks, but if you know why, then you will begin to understand your character. Know why Alice wants a pet frog for her birthday, and you’ll understand why she’s so upset. Give your readers that understanding, and they’ll care about Alice. Alice will be real.

These rules will help you to improve your writing, but they mean nothing unless you do one very important, and very difficult, thing. You sit down and write.

Jessica Wright is an avid musician and writer from England.  She has seen several articles and short stories in print in America and England. 

THROUGH THE PUDDLE OF THOUGHT: Inspiration from the Ground, By Barbara Lane

When I was a little girl I would pretend I had magical powers; I could make the wind change directions if I just closed my eyes and believed.  Being a writer is all about those same magical powers---creating a universe in which imagination is paramount and reality is determined by how much I can make a reader believe in my own dreams. 

But how does a writer come up with new ideas for fictional creations?  How does a new story begin?

It is my contention that inspiration is all around us.  It is part of the magic that is our imagination, and a person needs simply to learn how to unleash the power of the mind to make up something new. 

The truth of my theory was made evident to me as my second grader and I took our dog for a walk one dreary day after a thunderstorm.

It was a cold and dismal afternoon; clouds as gray as Brillo pads hung heavy with rain in a steel sky.  My son decided skipping in puddles would be amusing.  He was about to land in the middle of an especially muddy one when I stopped him with a cry.

"I wouldn't do that if I was you," I said, thinking the most about the money I'd paid for his bright white tennis shoes. 

"But it's fun," he whined, gearing up for a high jump. 

"Yeah?" I said.  "But where'd that puddle come from?"

"What do you mean?" he asked, looking over his shoulder, blue eyes twinkling.  "The storm."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."  He wrinkled his freckled nose as if I'd asked a stupid question.

"You know,” I dropped my voice to an urgent whisper,  "I think that particular puddle was made by a wizard."

"What?" 

"The Wizard Wayne," I said, thinking fast.  "He took his dragon for a walk before we came out with the dog.  He likes to walk in the rain.”

"Mommmm."  My son rolled his eyes, but he was listening.

"You think dragons don't have to go to the bathroom?"  I raised an eyebrow.  "What if they do?"

"What if?"  

And so began the game...

"What if the wizard took his dragon for a walk with a potion in his pocket."

"What kind of potion?"

"A puddle potion."

"A what?"

"A puddle potion," I said.  "In a glass tube stopped up with a blue cork.  Wizard Wayne poured the potion on the ground to make a puddle.  That puddle.  The one you were about to jump in.  It wouldn't look odd lying there after a storm."

"So?"

I threw up my arms.  "So!  So that's not just a puddle.  It's a portal.  Puddle potions make portals.  You stick your foot in there and it will go right through the street like you'd stepped through a hole in the concrete."

"Right through the street to where?"

"Another dragon's lair."  I narrowed my eyes.  "Wizard Wayne has a zoo full of them, and he knows dragons don't just have to go out for walks.  They have to eat, too.  And what better way to get them food than create a puddle portal?”

“Why?”

“Little boys jump into puddles, silly.  They go right through the portals.  What if you jumped through the puddle and ended up beside a dragon?  A dragon that hadn’t eaten in days?"

"I'd karate chop his head!"  My son jumped in the air, kicking out his foot, but I noticed he was careful to stay out of the water.  "I'd punch him in the nose."

"You would, huh?  What would happen then?"

In this way we began to write a story through a series of questions: what, when, where, how, why, and who.  Our imaginations filled in the details and got us going fast. 

We soon discovered the dragon in the lair was really a vegetarian princess turned into a scaly beast by a jealous witch who lived in a house next door to the wizard.  We flew on her neck, back up through the puddle, back up onto the street, and started a scavenger hunt for a changing charm that would turn the beast back into a little girl.

The whole story started with my desire to stop my son’s splashing in a puddle on the ground.  Not only did I keep his shoes in tact, by asking one what if I made our imaginations go wild.  My son and I directed the creation of characters in a whole new world.  The story took us on a grand adventure, and we wrote it by simply answering our own questions, by inspiring ourselves to make up more. 

To do the same thing, look outside your window and start to wonder.  If you used your imagination, what magic might you find lying outside you on the ground?  Where would a portal puddle take you?  What might happen if you found a dragon? 

Any ideas?

Go write them down!

Barbara Lane is a writer who currently resides with her husband, son and dog in a suburb of Dallas, Texas.  Her work has appeared in a variety of publications such as the Atlanta Journal Constitution, small spiral notebook, and Reader's Break.  With a strong desire to instill a love for the written word in the writers of tomorrow, she has taught creative writing workshops to students in elementary schools across the country.  Her children's book, The Monster Boring, is currently available on amazon.com.

FOUR WAYS TO CREATE GOOD DESCRIPTIONS, by Andrea L. Mack

How does a writer help the reader to picture the characters or setting in her story; by using description, words or phrases that provide details and information about the scene.

The first thing many people think of when they begin to write a description is using adjectives.  Consider the sentence, "The boy ran down the road." To give the reader a clearer picture, you could add a couple of adjectives: “The boy ran down the hot, dusty road."  By describing the road, you're leading the reader to create a more specific mental picture.  But just putting in more adjectives isn't always the best way to do that.  Other ways to create good descriptions:

Use Action

You've probably read a story that includes long descriptions of a setting or a character and felt bored.  Nothing is happening, so why bother reading any further?  You don't always need to tell your reader all the information. You can show her with action.

For example, you might write, "Rapunzel had long, golden hair."  This sentence tells the reader the information you want her to know.  You could also get the point across in another way:  "Rapunzel's golden hair tumbled down her back, past her knees, past her ankles, ending in a puddle beside the tips of her shoes."  You don't exactly say that Rapunzel has long hair, but the action of the hair flowing down her body shows the reader that she does.

Notice that using action, as a way to describe something doesn't mean you have to be talking about something that moves.  You can use action words, such as "tumbling" to describe something you might not think of as having much movement, like hair.

Use Dialogue

Another way to give the reader information about the setting or characters is to include it in a conversation. Instead of describing Rapunzel's long hair, you might show how the characters in the story react to it:

 The Knight gasped.  "I've never seen such long hair," he said.  "You could climb to the top of the tower and then some," agreed his servant.

Through the characters actions (gasping) and their dialogue, the reader develops a good mental picture of the length of Rapunzel's hair.

You can also use dialogue in describing a setting.  Remember my earlier example, "The boy ran down the hot, dusty road".  Here's one way to relate the same information through dialogue:

 "You'd think he'd burn his feet, running on that road," Grandpa said from the porch.
 "Look at that cloud of dust," Grandma piped up from her rocker.  "He's sure in a hurry."  The two of them stared at the boy's shoes, still sitting on the doormat.

Using dialogue can be a good way to describe settings or characters.  Like any other writing technique, the trick is to use it sparingly.  Describing an entire room through a conversation between characters might be just as boring as giving a long list of adjectives.

Space Out Details

Describing something doesn't mean you need to tell the reader everything you've imagined about right away.  In "Charlotte's Web", by E.B. White, Wilbur the pig goes to live on the Zuckerman's farm.  E.B. White doesn't describe the farm, the orchard and the land around it all at once.  First, he describes the barn, Wilbur's new home.  Later, when Wilbur escapes, we learn that on the farm there is an orchard, asparagus patch, machine shed, and so on.

Deciding when to include details about the setting or characters is important to the flow of the story.  Your reader might not need to know everything all at once.  Too many details can slow a reader down.  On the other hand, not having enough description in the right places can be frustrating.  If your story takes place on another planet and we don't learn about that for a few pages, it will probably be confusing.

Build A Complete Picture

Good descriptions create images of sights, sounds, smells and tastes.  In stories with lots of sensory information, the reader can easily imagine the characters or settings.  Think about the example of the boy running down the road.  A full picture of what the boy is experiencing could include:  the feeling of grit scraping inside his eyelids, the stale mud smell of the dirt road, the sound of his feet hitting the ground hard, or the dry, musty taste
of dust on his lips.  If you were writing a story about this boy, you probably wouldn't describe everything he is feeling.  But including information from different senses in your story helps make your imaginary world seem more real.

A Final Word

Writing good descriptions is important for creating believable characters and settings.  Although sometimes it is easiest to just tell the reader a piece of information, your writing will be more interesting if you also use several different ways to describe the characters or settings in a story. By making the reader work or think about the details in your story, you help him relate to your imaginary people and places.

Andrea L. Mack is work-at-home writer.  Her articles have appeared in (or are scheduled to appear in) publications such as Wee Parents, Wonder Years, Write from Home, The Busy Freelancer, The Writing Parent, Fiction Fix newsletter, and Canadian Writers Journal. She also writes fiction and non-fiction for children.