Scribble Articles15

HANGING, DANGLING OR UNATTACHED PARTICIPLES
By Laraine Anne Barker

Dangling participles, which often start with the gerund (a word ending in -ing) occur where the first part of the sentence and the clause that follows don't belong together, and therefore don't make sense.

Examples

Driving through Taranaki, Mt Egmont dominates the landscape.
Mt Egmont (now more usually called Mt Taranaki) definitely DOES dominate the landscape of Taranaki; but it most certainly can't drive!

Crossing the room, her foot bled all over the carpet. Ever seen a foot cross the room all on its own?

Driving home in yesterday's storm, a tree fell on the back of my car. Once again, we have a distinctly strange driver at the wheel.

The above examples all use present participles, but you need to beware of dangling past participles too:

If properly installed, you shouldn't be able to open the door without first pressing the safety button.
Possible rewrite:
If the (whatever item is actually being installed) is properly installed, you shouldn't be able to open the door without first pressing the safety button.

In evening clothes and with her hair specially styled, Mark always thought his mother as glamorous as a film-star. It pains me to admit it, but this example came from my own writing and it was many months before I noticed it and rewrote it to read: "In evening clothes and with her hair specially styled, his mother had always seemed to Mark as glamorous as a film-star."

For further writing tips, see other links on my Site Map at http://lbarker.orcon.net.nz/sitemap.html.

© L A Barker Enterprises.

Laraine Anne Barker writes fantasy for young people. Visit her web site at http://lbarker.orcon.net.nz Fantasy for Children & Young Adults for FREE stories and novel excerpts. Sign up for the NOVELLA OF THE MONTH CLUB, absolutely FREE!

REWRITING? WHAT'S THAT
By Andrea L. Mack

Do you ever read over a piece of writing you have just finished and change a word to make it sound better? That is rewriting, sometimes called revising or editing: changing the words you've originally written on the page to improve your work in some way. Most writers do it. But does it really make your writing better? How do you know what kinds of changes will improve your story?

Why bother?

When you read over your story for the first time after you've written it, it sounds good. And it is finished. You should feel proud and congratulate yourself for what you've accomplished. The first hard work of writing is over.

Many writers don't stop there.

It might be the way the words sound or don't sound. Or the fact that something in the story doesn't make sense. The writer could leave her story just the way it is, but chances are, she will make some changes. The way she wrote it down the first time helped to capture all of her ideas. Now she wants to make sure the words on the page bring the reader some of the excitement she felt when she was writing the story.

What kinds of things should I change?

Writing a story can be complicated. There are many things to consider, such as plot, theme, characters, writing style and grammar. Just as there are different aspects in writing a story, there are different kinds of things to consider when you are rewriting.

Some people think of rewriting as checking through the story to fix spelling mistakes or punctuation. These things are important when sending a manuscript to a publisher, because you want your story to look as professional as possible. But this kind of editing doesn't help the reader make sense of ideas that may be difficult to follow.

The kind of rewriting that really improves a story is a bit scary. Sometimes you have to be willing to make big changes. For instance, suppose you are writing the story of Cinderella. After you finish your story, you find that you've spent a lot of time writing about the adventures Cinderella had on her way home from the ball. The middle of your story doesn't really fit with the ending, where the Prince discovers Cinderella as a household drudge with perfect feet. You could just leave your story the way it is, with a middle that doesn't really lead up to the ending. Or you could do some revising, and rewrite what happens to the characters so the parts of the story fit together.

Notice that if a story isn't interesting or exciting, then there isn't too much point in fixing up small things like spelling. Not if you want to really capture your reader's interest.

How do I do it?

Read over what you have written. Some writers put their writing aside for a day or two and read it again after they've been thinking about other things for a while. This helps them get a different perspective on what they've written. After you are finished reading your story, ask yourself some questions.

What happens in your story?

When you're writing you can get so involved you forget what you've set out to do. That is fantastic - it means you're really being creative. But it can make it hard for other people to understand what you've written. Look for parts that are confusing. You might need to take some things out (save them for another story) or put in explanations so the reader can follow what you're trying to say.

Why is the main character behaving this way?

Sometimes you read a story where the main character does something that isn't what you'd expect. If this isn't done carefully, it can leave you feeling cheated, as though the writer wasn't following the rules.

For example, if your Cinderella were the adventurous type who slays a dragon on the way home from the ball, why would she bother to go back to her stepsisters' house?

Of course, a character can change his or her way of thinking by the end of a story - some great stories are about just that. But the reader needs to see what leads up to the change to make the story satisfying.

Do things match up?

If your character has short brown hair at the beginning of the story and his long flowing hair gets tangled in thorns later, you might have a problem, unless he has guzzled a gallon of "instant hair grow" in between. Look for things that don't match up and figure out what you can change to make your story more consistent.

In the end

The most important thing about writing is to tell a good story. Be creative, get some ideas flowing and don't worry too much about how it sounds. You can always change things later - if you have something interesting to work with.

Glossary:

Some ways of thinking about the words rewrite, revise and edit to help keep them straight in your mind.

Editing -Making small changes to spelling, punctuation, and word order to improve the appearance and flow of the story.

Proofreading - Reading over a piece of writing to check for errors in spelling, punctuation or grammar.

Revising - Making big changes to the story, such as changing the ending or deleting a character, to help it make a stronger impact on the reader.

Rewriting - Taking a completed story and working on it some more to make it better.

Author Bio-Andrea L. Mack is an experienced academic writer in the areas of psychology and child development, who has recently started freelance writing. Some of her work will appear in Wee Ones E-magazine ( http://www.weesonesmag.com ) this fall. She lives near Toronto, Canada with her husband and two daughters. Her dream is to see one of children's stories she has written published as a picture book.

CHILDREN'S POETRY FORM WORKSHOP : THE SKELETON POEM
(c) 2001 Lynne Remick

A most-challenging form of poetry, the skeleton poem, all but one or two words per line, leaving blanks for the deleted words.

First, you should select a poem or lines of poetry:

A rose, by any other name,
would smell as sweet.

Credit: William Shakespeare

Then, you should select the words you wish to remain in the skeleton poem, and replace all other words with blank lines:

Skeleton Version:
___ rose, ____ _____ ____ _____,
____ _____ _____ sweet.

Next, is the fun part--create your poem!

Example of finished poem:
Fragrant rose, you remind me of
Grandmother, mild and sweet.

Another Method for Creating Skeleton Poems:

Another alternative is allow for longer lines in which the writer can place one or as many words as needed around the "pre-chosen" words, as long as the words remain on the lines indicated.

Twinkle, twinkle, little star
How I wonder what you are
Up above the world so high
Like a diamond in the sky

When the blazing sun is gone,
When he nothing shines upon,
Then you show your little light,
Twinkle, twinkle, all the night

Credit: Jane Taylor, 1806

Skeleton:

Twinkle, ___________________
_____ wonder ______________
_____________ world ________
_______________________ sky

_________ blazing sun _______
_________ nothing ___________
___________________ little light,
______ twinkle_______________

Yet Another Way to Make A Skeleton Poem:

A third method of creating the form for a skeleton poem is to chose words and phrase either by yourself or with a group of poets, randomly place them with lines and breaks on a page, and let inspiration strike!

Once the skeleton poems have been created, the poet has only to use his skill and imagination to create a cohesive and inspiring poem utilizing the words in their current placement with new words.

Now, its your turn. Have fun!

Lynne Remick is a freelance children's writer. She is the "So You Want to be a Children's Writer" Columnist for The Writer's Exchange, editor of Lil Scribbles for Children's Writers (http://www.topica.com/lists/Lil_Scribbles/ ) and the moderator of Lil Scribblers Discussion List (http://www.topica.com/lists/Lil_Scribblers/).

The Rat Spat on the Cat: Active Voice
by Cheryl Paquin

As a chubby wee lass in Scotland, and a less chubby preteen in Australia, grammarians said words such as colour, vigour and humour, needed a "u".

However, after spending almost three years in the U.S., I've learned differently, they don't. I rather like it. Just as "u" is unnecessary, writing seems more dramatic with the substitution of "z" for "s". Sensationalise or sensationalize? "Z" adds zing, "S" is staid, a stalwart of the alphabet.

Taking a job as a reporter in the U.S. meant paying more attention to spelling. As I focused on losing "u" and gaining "z", these two small letters impacted my writing more: Editing -- lose the excess; add more zing.

The editing process is just as important as writing itself. I love editing -- deliberating if one word is better than another, if an extra adjective hinders the delivery, or it gives impact. Above all, I love reducing my words to an economy -- where writing comes alive through action, not bogged by verbiage.

Active voice:
Beginning writers often make the mistake of writing passively, or from the perspective that the subject had something done to it rather than the subject doing it. It's a mistake.

Which is more active?

The cat was spat on by the rat, or the rat spat on the cat.

Too often, editors see cats that were spat on, and they're tired of it. It's past tense and boring. Editors like rats spitting, it brings the action closer to the reader, and it's less verbiage to wade through. When you find too many incidences of "by", or "was", in your writing, stop. Reread the sentence -- define the subject, the verb, and the object.

For example:
"The sentence was written by the writer," is passive. So let's break it down: Who is doing the action? The writer, the writer is writing. What is the verb or the action word? Written, from the verb, to write. Who is having something done to it? The sentence; it is being written.

So, to have our subject/verb/object order, or the subject doing something to an object, we would have, "The writer written the sentence", which, of course, doesn't make sense. However, you're not stuck with a passive sentence and the answer will most often lie in the VERB. What are variations of "to write"? Writes, written, wrote. Aha! Wrote, that works, "The writer wrote the sentence."

Of course, we could say the writer penned, scribed, etc.; it doesn't matter, as long as the verb's voice tells us that the subject takes action.

Trust me, you will be loved by your editor ... oops, your editor will love you.

Copyright © 2000 Cheryl Paquin
mailto:editor@writerslounge.com

C.S. Paquin is a nationally published writer in both the business and humor markets. Cheryl has a Master Of Arts in Journalism and has been writing freelance for over five years. She contributes regularly to regional publications in Minnesota. She is the owner and editor of www.WritersLounge.com , a site for creative nonfiction and essay writers.

WHAT'S THE STORY?

Young writers help us remember the basics

One of my favorite ways to share writing is to bring young people and adults together and see what they'll learn from each other. In a recent workshop, I rediscovered how often writers confuse slice-of-life musings or essays with "stories."

The group began discussing just what the necessary ingredients of a story are, and the youths had a fine time enlightening their elders on the basics we thought we knew, but seemed to have forgotten. Because they are reading and writing most days for schoolwork, the kids easily crafted an overview that relates directly to a story's most basic structure, while reminding the rest of us about those "five W's and an H." (Oh yeah -- those.)

In order to truly be a story, what we write must have a complete "shape" and be constructed from a clear beginning, middle, and end, they advised. And most important, something must happen within the flow of that progression.

What happens doesn't have to be the an event of high drama (though plenty of readers will reach for it if it is). It can also be internal, a realization or epiphany inside a character.

In order to care about what happens, the reader must care about WHO it is happening to, so characters really do need to drive the story. They need to be whole, which means giving them a past, present, and future, no matter how much of this actually finds its way into the words of the story. Many writers "interview" characters to get the fullest sense of them as individuals.

Setting - the story's WHERE and WHEN -- also needs to be well established. In a sense the writer needs to take the reader there, and some writers give setting almost as much weight as character in a plot, especially in such things as historical fiction.

The plot - WHAT happens - needs to arise out of characters and their motivations or wishes or challenges. The story feels complete when whatever happens grows naturally out the characters' problems and the things that get in the way of their solving them. This helps establish the WHY of the story, and always requires that the story's plot lead characters to discover or learn something, often about themselves, as well as the world

Plot takes form when the writer creates believable characters and injects conflict into the story. HOW the characters overcome conflict is what makes the story a story. Just as the most dramatic plot will fall flat if characters feel like cardboard cutouts, the most fleshed out characters can't get way with hanging out on the page. We need something that makes us wonder, "Will they make it to the end?"

To carry a plot forward, conflict must be compatible with the nature of the characters. Because a writer relies on the reader to suspend disbelief (and its an increasingly skeptical world out there), the plot and action mustn't ask the reader to depart too far from what she has come to understand and expect of the characters. That's why defining characters' personalities, motivation, and challenges is important, because whatever happens, and however it is resolved ("The End"), must all be in sync with these.

Here's a basic checklist for assessing whether a piece of writing includes the essential ingredients of story. These elements are divided loosely according to the three distinct parts of a story.

Beginning:

Establish character(s) as believable, worth caring about; establish time, place, and circumstances. Make clear the character's needs, wishes, and motives. Establish character's problem (internal or external), as well as the need for solving that problem.

Middle:

Introduce complication or conflict, from which action will arise. Put something in the way of the characters getting what they want, which makes their problem more challenging to solve. This must be important, and genuinely compatible with a character's nature, in order to hold reader interest. Have a logical basis for character's behavior, as well as natural cause-and effect within events.

End:

Solve or resolve the problem. This needs to be believable and arise out of the character's struggle (no sweeping, act-of-God answers). Climax needs to come about through the main character(s). Any elements introduced in the story should be tied up, with no loose ends left to raise unanswered questions in the reader's mind.

Copyright 2001 by Phyllis Edgerly Ring. All rights reserved.
Bio - Writer Phyllis Edgerly Ring, mother of two, has written for Arizona Parenting, Family Digest, Inscriptions, Liguorian, Mamm, and Pockets for Children. She helps develop curriculum materials for teaching virtues and promoting gender equality in families. More information about her work is available at www.phyllisring.com

FRESH STARTS: An Exercise in Tongue Twisters
(c) 2003 Lynne Remick

If you want to become a poet, get a poem published in a school magazine, or just write a poem for a friend or family member, the new year is a good time to start. To learn to write good poems, you must first practice writing poem-any kind of poems. It isn't always easy to begin a poem. Sometimes you can sit and think so hard that you believe your brain will burst, but no ideas will come your way. When this happens, you can use a little trick and rely upon those poets who have come before you.

THE POETRY JUMBLE

Find your favorite books of poems and leave the book open to the page of your favorite poem. Fold a piece of paper in half, in half again, in half again, and in half again. When you open it, you will see that you have made sixteen squares. Write sixteen of your favorite words from your favorite poem, one in each square, on the page. Cut out each square and fold the square in half so that the word has folded into itself and you can no longer see it. Put the folded squares into a fish bowl or other bowl and jumble them around. One at a time, draw eight squares from the jar. Open the squares. Now, write a poem using all eight of the words on the squares, adding any words you feel necessary. You can vary this exercise to write a poem using from one to sixteen words, or more, depending on how many times you fold your paper, and from varying the poems you work from.

RECYCLED POETRY

Choose a favorite first line from a poem and borrow it. Say the words aloud and think about what you see in your mind. The images that result can be the start of a fresh poem. Write the line down on a piece of paper. It is now the beginning of your new poem. Follow your mind, writing your thoughts down on paper. They can rhyme (a rhymed poem) or not rhyme (free verse).

LOOK TO DR. SEUSS

Make up nonsense words by combining or mixing up some of your favorite real words. For example, you can reverse the syllables in the word "winter" to create a nonsense bird called the "terwin" and write a poem about it-what it looks like, where it might live, and what it does. Or, you can create an imaginary place by jumble the words in Saturn to create a planet called Nurtas. No hard and fast rules here, so have fun creating just about anything from just about any word!

Try to write a different type of poem each day. Even if the finished poems don't become poems that you will share with family or friends or editors, you will learn a lot by reading them over and seeing which ones are better than others, and why. Most importantly, you will have fun learning to write poetry.

Lynne Remick resides in New York with her beloved son Kevin, a darling Schipperke named Dante and Sahara-a feral cat, along with a spoiled Hedgehog named Willow and her three babies, Winken, Blinken and Nod. In the midst of this zoo, Lynne studies children's literature, reviews children's books and writes stories and poems for children.